


You Only See The Worst Parts of Yourself

by for_the_love_of_tony



Category: Ironman, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Hopeful Ending, But he’s also an asshole sometimes, Character Study, Fighting with myself, Gen, Panic Attacks, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony Stark has Anxiety, Tony Stark is complicated, Tony Stark/ Steve Rogers hinted relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-07
Updated: 2020-01-07
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:47:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,411
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22155763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/for_the_love_of_tony/pseuds/for_the_love_of_tony
Summary: Tony Stark is somehow split in two. Now there’s Tony, anxiety ridden, guilty, too emotional and Stark, cold, conniving and an all around asshole. How will the two halves of one whole react to each other? What is one without the other? And how the hell are they getting out of the dark, cold cell they’re locked in?
Comments: 3
Kudos: 16





	You Only See The Worst Parts of Yourself

**Author's Note:**

> A friend showed me a prompt where the OP thought the ship name “Stony” stood for Stark and Tony as if they were separate entities. She shared with me her headcannon and this fic was born.

He took in the shivering figure slumped on the floor in front of him, the look in his eyes was pure disdain. He watched him for another minute, barely able to contain the desire to roll his eyes, hard. 

“Get up!” He commanded but when the figure didn’t move from his spot, he had no choice but to grab him roughly by his arm and yank him off the floor. “I said, GET UP! Sniveling on the floor isn’t going to get us the fuck out of here!”

Tony extracted himself from the other man’s grasp and looked at him, shoulders still a little slumped. It was so disorienting to be looking into his own eyes, especially when they were so full of hatred. But Stark, as he insisted on calling himself, set his jaw and stared into Tony’s eyes, unwavering, seemingly completely unaffected. 

“You disgust me.” Snark said with a sneer. “But as pathetic as you are, I’m pretty sure you got the majority of our brains. So, stop whimpering and figure how to get us the fuck out of here.” 

Tony glanced around the windowless room, for what, he didn’t know. Probably just to appease the version of himself in front of him. He was already aware there was no way out of this room without heavy explosives or the help of one blonde super soldier. The door was heavily reinforced and the walls were cement. Tony simply shrugged.

“I’m sorry. I don’t know. I don’t think there’s a way without some kind of help-“ Starks frustrated growl made him pause.

“Just like I thought. COMPLETELY useless!” Starks hands went up to his hair as he began to pace. “So not only are the worst parts of myself. The anxiety, the cowering, the weakness! And now, now you can’t even use your ONE decent quality to get us out of here. I swear to god, if it wouldn’t be so fucking disturbing, I’d punch you in your face.” 

He spun to face Tony, the other man instinctively curled into himself which only seemed to renew Stark’s rage. He strode across the room, grabbing Tony by the lapels and pushing him against the wall.

“Man up for Christ’s sake. I hate that you have my face! I hate that you’re a part of me! You are a fucking disgrace.” He released Tony with a angry sigh. “I’m going to die here with my pitiful twin. How fucking sad.” 

“I’m not your twin.” Tony’s voice was quiet but firm. Stark didn’t respond except for a dismissive grunt.

“I’m not. I’m part of you. And while you might think I’m the worst parts. You’re wrong.” Tony’s voice was still weak but it was getting louder as he continued, gaining some newfound confidence. 

“I think you’re my worst parts. Conniving and calculating, willing to step on anyone or anything if it gets you ahead. I disgust you? The feeling is mutual. You’re basically a sociopath. Completely uncaring, no remorse for any of the awful shit you’ve done, no feelings at all. You’re not a good person.”

Stark scoffed, “And being a good person gets you where exactly. The way I see it, everyone is looking to screw you over so you gotta screw them over first. That’s the thing, most people aren’t good and I’ll be damned if anyone is going to take advantage of me.”

“But you’re wrong. People are inherently good. You just have to-“

Stark laughed at that, a loud harsh laugh that filled the quiet room along with a whispered, “Pathetic.”

Tony was quiet then, he sighed softly and looked at the man next to him- looked at himself really. Stark was sitting with his back against the wall, head tilted back and eyes closed. Sudden realization filled his mind and before he knew it, Tony was the one laughing. And laughing, couldn’t stop even if he tried. Stark turned his head sharply.

“What the fuck is so funny?”

Tony couldn’t stop as hard as he tried, wrapping his arms around his middle. It was a long minute before he was able to calm himself enough to speak, Stark looking at him like he had completely lost it. Maybe he had.

“You need me.” He pressed on despite Stark’s disgruntled scoff. “I may be weak and guilt ridden, maybe I’m even as pathetic as you say. But I’m the only things that make you likeable. I’m the only things that make you care about anything other than yourself. Without me, there is no Ironman. You would never put anything or anyone above yourself and you definitely wouldn’t put yourself in harms way for a world of strangers. I’m your humanity and the one thing that keeps you a hero instead of a villain. Without me, you’re nothing.”

Stark opened his mouth and closed it, he repeated this action multiple times but in the end, nothing came. No retort, no dismissal, nothing. So Tony kept going instead.

“I need you too, you know. I would never be strong enough to take on the world without you. I need to be a little less caring sometimes. Need to not take the universe solely on my shoulders. You are my self-preservation.” Tony looked at the other man. “We need each other. You may be the backbone and the guts of Ironman but I’m the heart and soul. And you can’t survive without a heart. I guess you can make it without a soul but it sure sounds like a life I wouldn’t want to live.”

Stark didn’t say anything for a long moment, didn’t even open his eyes, barely even acknowledged Tony at all. But the other man waited him out, not like they were going anywhere, anyway.

“So what? Doesn’t really solve either of our problems at the moment.” Stark finally responded but there was no real bite behind his words. “Maybe we should kiss. Think that would fuse us back together?” 

Stark quirked his eyebrow suggestively and it was Tony’s turn to roll his eyes.

“No but I think you might need a hug.” Tony suggested with a small smile when Stark made a face, his lip curling in a sneer. Tony ignored it, in favor of pulling the other man-himself, still weird-into a tight hug.

“It’s gonna be ok, Stark. We’ll figure this out. Then you won’t have to keep looking at me like you’d set me on fire if you could.” But suddenly Tony’s arms were empty and when he opened his eyes, he was alone, arms circled around only air. 

Tony felt a little weird still and he ran tired hands through his hair. He sighed softly cause the other things were still there, the anxiousness, the guilt, the helplessness but he also felt stronger, quicker, more himself again. 

Tony shivered with the thought of the version of himself who had just been sitting next to him only moments before. He embodied all the things Tony despised about himself and yet, the realization that he needed those parts brought him some level of comfort. Because combined with the gentler parts of himself it made him who he was, who he needed to be to wear the suit.

Tony wasn’t the man he was before Ironman but he wasn’t completely different either. Stark’s strength, stubbornness and shrewdness helped Tony overcome his compulsive thoughts, his guilt and the anxiety that threatened to overtake him. Stark made him realize the hero that was inside of him, so as flawed as he was, he was necessary.

He scanned the room again but yeah, there still wasn’t a way out. Shit, maybe he should have kept his company for a little while longer, as annoying as he might have been.

He figured the team would be here soon. His head was absolutely killing him and he was still reeling from the out of body experience. He decided he deserved to play damsel in distress but just this once.

So, when he soon heard the familiar voice of Cap outside the steel door and felt the room rock slightly, he simply smiled and waited. 

A little voice in his head said it was a shame that Stark hadn’t stuck around long enough for a threesome. Tony rolled his eyes at the thought in his own head. However, as the door fell off the hinges and he got a look at the blonde standing in the wreckage, well, maybe he agreed. Just a little. 


End file.
